Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
