I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
