I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
