i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
