Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
