we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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