when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
