never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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