More tranny stories later!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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