we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
