You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
