like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
this hospital has no fireball
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
