Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
