So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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