I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
