I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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