wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
