i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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