your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
