I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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