Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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