i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize