does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
