I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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