my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
