But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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