as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am one with the molecules
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
