Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
