he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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