The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
