I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
