So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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