What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
