A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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