I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
