OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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