Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
