Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
