help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
