i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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