i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
