she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
