he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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