Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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