btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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