the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize