You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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