I showed him my bush... on skype.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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