I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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