No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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