why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
