I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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