i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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