am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize