I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
