thus making me awesome and them whores
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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