honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
