So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
